Ācārya Siṁha
The Life of Swami Bhakti Gaurava Narasiṅgha Mahārāja
Chapter 25
Walking on Air – A Personal Darśana With Śrīla Prabhupāda
(Bombay, Vṛndāvana, Māyāpura – February 1976)
(Streets of Bombay, 1976)
Vallabh had bought three tickets to India – one for Narasiṅgha Mahārāja, one for Ṛkṣarāja, and one for himself. Perhaps driven by lingering guilt for not fulfilling the donation he had promised, he decided to accompany the devotees to Bombay and host them in his family’s apartment in Juhu, close to the Iskcon temple.
Upon leaving the confines of the airport in Bombay, Mahārāja and Ṛkṣarāja were bombarded by a cacophony of different street sounds, surrounded by aggressive taxi-drivers all vying for their attention, and overwhelmed by various smells – some pleasant, and some not so pleasant. Mahārāja had travelled through Mexico and Africa and thought that he had seen everything – but India was a whole different experience. Vallabh’s driver was there to pick them up, and as they crammed into the white Ambassador and sat down on the hard, uncomfortable seats, Mahārāja stared out of the window in wonder at the strange new sights.
Bombay was a blend of colonial buildings from the British era and emerging modern architecture. Its roads were crowded with cycle rickshaws competing for space with the iconic yellow-and-black Bombay taxis, while the streets buzzed with a chaotic medley of shops, pedestrians, hawkers, and street-food vendors. Everywhere you looked, movie posters advertised the latest Bollywood films, and images of film stars were plastered on nearly every street corner. Mahārāja had experienced reckless driving in some places in Africa, but India provided a whole new definition of the word ‘chaos.’ Lanes were a mere suggestion and the honking of horns never seemed to cease. Every now and then, Mahārāja and Ṛkṣarāja would exchange wide-eyed glances as their car lurched, swerved, and screeched. Even when it seemed they were about to collide head-on with another car coming from the opposite direction, their driver remained calm and unfazed. This was street life in Bombay.
(Downtown Bombay, 1976)
Mahārāja and Ṛkṣarāja had already the house of Vallabh’s brother in Dubai, a place unlike anything they had ever seen before. However, the family home in Bombay made the extravagant house in Dubai seem small and mediocre by comparison. As they entered the foyer of the house, they were greeted by an enormous, life-sized marble diorama of Kṛṣṇa lifting Govardhana Hill, surrounded by the vraja-vāsīs and cows. Vallabh then guided them upstairs to the guest quarters. On the third floor, they passed through a vast hall, at the far end of which was a marble stage designed in the shape of a lotus. Vallabh explained that this was where their guru would give classes from the Bhāgavatam when he visited from Gujerat.
Although Vallabh took care of his guests, Mahārāja and Ṛkṣarāja spent most of their time with the devotees at the Rādhā-Rasavihārī Temple at Hare Kṛṣṇa land.
Narasiṅgha Mahārāja: When we arrived in Bombay, there had already been a huge battle going on between the devotees and one man called Mr. Nair, who had initially sold the land to Śrīla Prabhupāda. Anyhow, he turned out to be a huge rascal – he reneged on the deal and then tried to take the land back and resell it. It became a huge thing. Mr. Nair had contacts in the local government and demolished the makeshift temple when the Deities were. The devotees were beaten up by the police and thrown in jail. Actually, that only made the position of the devotees stronger with the public and finally, Mr. Nair died – Prabhupāda was actually relieved when he got the news – and the devotees went ahead and built the temple. By the time we arrived there in February 1976, the battle was already over, but you could see that all the devotees were exhausted.
Mahārāja was still traveling with the Gaura-Nitāi Deities from Kenya, but uncertain about his schedule, he asked Vallabh if he could leave them at his apartment until his return to Bombay. Having planned to purchase new paraphernalia for the Deities, it wasn’t long before Mahārāja and Ṛkṣarāja boarded a train to Delhi, and from there, continued on to Vṛndāvana.
This was not Ṛkṣarāja’s first visit to Vṛndāvana. He had been there a few years earlier and was familiar with the locations of some of the famous temples. He took Mahārāja for darśana of Śrīla Prabhupāda’s rooms at Śrī Śrī Rādhā-Dāmodara Temple. However, when they arrived there, Prabhupāda’s rooms were locked.
Narasiṅgha Mahārāja: The keys may have been with someone at Kṛṣṇa-Balarāma Temple, but I could see that the rooms were a mess. Nobody was coming to take care of them at that time. I think the only time they ever got cleaned is just before Śrīla Prabhupāda would come there. But that was the first time I ever went to Rādhā-Dāmodara Temple. I saw Gaura Candra Goswami there. I don’t think he was running everything in the temple – he was an old man at that time. I think his son, Nirmal Candra was basically in charge by then.
This was Narasiṅgha Mahārāja’s first time in Vṛndāvana. He had first encountered the word ‘Vṛndāvana’ before joining the movement, when he read Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahamsa Yogananda. However, it was just a vague reference – simply the name of a holy town in India. It was only when he came into contact with Śrīla Prabhupāda that he realised ‘Vṛndāvana’ was much more than just a physical locality – it is the spiritual abode where the jīva serves Śrī Śrī Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa eternally in one of the primary rasas, or mellows of devotion. The Vṛndāvana we see here with our external senses is an ‘embassy’ of the spiritual world, a place where Śrī Kṛṣṇa performed His pastimes five-thousand years ago. Over the years, Mahārāja continued to develop a strong and affectionate appreciation for Vṛndāvana and spent many years there.
Mahārāja was still in possession of Vitthalbhai’s cheque for $12,000 and had promised to personally hand it to Śrīla Prabhupāda in Māyāpura. After spending a week in Vṛndāvana, Mahārāja and Ṛkṣarāja took a train to Kolkata, arriving at the main gates of the Māyāpura Candrodaya Mandira one early morning in mid-February. Over a thousand devotees had already gathered for the Gaura Pūrṇimā festival, and Śrīla Prabhupāda had been there since mid-January, giving regular morning classes on Śrīmad Bhāgavatam.
Excited to see Śrīla Prabhupāda, Mahārāja and Ṛkṣarāja quickly found a place to stay and rushed to the Lotus Building, where Prabhupāda’s rooms were.
(The Lotus Building – Māyāpura Candrodaya Mandira)
Narasiṅgha Mahārāja: As soon as we went upstairs, Prabhupāda was coming out of his room. We offered our obeisances and he immediately noticed that we were new faces in Māyāpura. He asked where we were coming from, and we told him that we had been preaching in North Africa. When we told him that, his eyes became wide and he threw his head back and said, “Ooh, North Africa?” Then he smiled, nodded his head and walked off. Prabhupāda’s servant, Hari Saurī Prabhu. was there. I told him that we had a donation for Śrīla Prabhupāda and that the life-member who gave the cheque wanted me to personally give it to him. Hari Śauri told me to come to the roof in half an hour when Prabhupāda was having his massage.
(Prabhupāda Receives a Massage on the Roof of the Lotus Building)
So, half hour later, myself and Ṛkṣarāja went to the roof. Śrīla Prabhupāda was sitting on a grass mat being massaged by Hari Śauri, and Dayānanda from L.A. was reading his personal mail to him. We offered obeisances and then Prabhupāda looked at me and asked, “So, do you like India?”
I said, “Yes, Śrīla Prabhupāda, I like India very much!”
Then he smiled and said, “Jaya! Then you stay! You can preach in India. You can open our temple in Jagannātha Purī.” I heard that, and I was like, “Wow!” Prabhupāda had basically just stole me from Brahmānanda, but of course, being his disciple Prabhupāda was stealing his own property!
I handed him the cheque and then he began to tell us about successful preaching – he said that for someone to give such a big donation, they must have been pleased with our preaching. “That means you know how to preach to big men,” he said.
I told Prabhupāda that we had come with our travelling Deities of Gaura-Nitāi from Nairobi and I asked him if I should continue taking care of Them. First, Prabhupāda asked me where They were, and I said, “They are in Bombay, Śrīla Prabhupāda, at the life member’s house who gave the cheque.” That same year Satsvarūpa Mahārāja and others had asked if they could travel with Deities and Prabhupāda had said no. But he looked at me and said, “Yes, you can do.”
Then I told Śrīla Prabhupāda, “Prabhupāda, we were originally sent by Brahmānanda Swami to collect and pay off the $10,000 debt he owes to the BBT in Los Angeles. So this check will go to pay Brahmānanda’s debt?”
Prabhupāda said, “No.”
I thought, “I don’t think Prabhupāda understands what I’m saying.” So, I reiterated again, “We are Brahmānanda’s collectors, he sent us out. So will this money go to clear his debt?”
Prabhupāda said, “No.”
Again, I thought, “Maybe I’m not making myself clear. I don’t think Prabhupāda understands me.” Actually, I was the one who didn’t understand. When Prabhupāda said, “No” he meant “No.”
So, again I tried to explain, “Well, Śrīla Prabhupāda…”
And before I could say anything else, Prabhupāda cut me off and said, “No, Brahmānanda will have to work to pay off his debt.”
Then I said, “Yes, Prabhupāda, as you wish” but I was thinking, “Oh God! If Brahmānanda is coming to Māyāpura this year, I’m finished!”
Anyhow, Prabhupāda continued, “This is a personal donation to me – the cheque is written in my name. We will not hang Brahmānanda, but if the debt is paid off so easily, he will simply become fat and lazy!” Then Prabhupāda told us, “My Guru Mahārāja always kept us in debt. He would build one temple, or make a project and we would all go into debt. The whole Gauḍīya Maṭha would go into debt, and everyone would enthusiastically collect – sannyāsīs, brahmacārīs, everyone. They would collect the money and Guru Mahārāja would start another program and still we would be in debt! In this way, he kept us always in debt and always busy.”
Mahārāja and Ṛkṣarāja continued sitting with Śrīla Prabhupāda, basking in his presence, while Dayānanda read some of his mail to him. One letter was from the temple president of Cleveland who was complaining that the temple devotees were not listening to him, so he was forced to criticise them. Prabhupāda scowled and said, “Criticism is not our means! Our means is to show by example!” Dayānanda continued reading the letter.
“Prabhupāda, now he is inquiring about his household life.”
Again Prabhupāda scowled. “It is not the business of the guru to increase the sex-life of his disciple! This is not how one should approach the guru – “my family life, my sex life!” They are not happy, these western men and women. They get married and they are not happy! That is why I recommend brahmacārī and sannyāsa life!”
Hearing this statement from Prabhupāda, Mahārāja thought to himself, “Most devotees have already wasted about twenty years following no principles, and then they spend two or three years in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and then they get married! It’s a struggle! It’s almost a losing battle because one’s inner character for one’s entire life is molded in one’s youth.” Without thinking, Mahārāja suddenly said, “Yes, Śrīla Prabhupāda. It’s because they have no training, therefore they have so many problems.”
For a fleeting moment, Prabhupāda looked directly at Mahārāja, causing him to wonder if he had said something out of place. Then Prabhupāda said, “Whatever it may be…they are not happy. It does not work. Therefore, I recommend brahmacārī and sannyāsa life.”
Suddenly, seeing what he thought was a perfect opportunity, Ṛkṣarāja spoke up.
Narasiṅgha Mahārāja: Ṛkṣarāja blurted out, “Prabhupāda, I want to take sannyāsa!” Hearing that, I was thinking, “I’ve been travelling with Ṛkṣarāja for over a month now and he didn’t say anything to me about sannyāsa! Anyhow, I’ve done my thing. I’m just gonna stay as quiet as a church mouse now!”
Then Prabhupāda asked him, “Why do you want to take sannyāsa?” And then the worst of answers came. Ṛkṣarāja said, “Well, because it’s my desire, Śrīla Prabhupāda.”
I just cringed and thought, “Oh no!”
Prabhupāda just shut his eyes, nodded his head and said, “We must try to find out what is Kṛṣṇa’s desire. That is sannyāsa.” That’s all he said.
Then Hari Śauri stood up and said, “Prabhupāda will take his bath now,” and we paid obeisances and left.
As they walked downstairs, Mahārāja felt exuberant. “Woah! I feel like I’m walking on air! That was so totally ecstatic!” he exclaimed. Ṛkṣarāja, however, was moping. “Well, you’re already taking sannyāsa. Maybe it was ecstatic for you, but not for me.”
Mahārāja stopped dead in his tracks and looked at Ṛkṣarāja, “Prabhu, who cares about taking sannyāsa or not taking sannyāsa? We’re serving Śrīla Prabhupāda – that’s the main thing!”
The appearance day of Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura was celebrated in Māyāpura on February 20th. Śrīla Prabhupāda came downstairs from his room at midday to speak about his Guru Mahārāja to the assembled devotees. First, he requested Acyutānanda Swami to sing Ohe Vaiṣṇava Ṭhākura by Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura.
Narasiṅgha Mahārāja: Prabhupāda gave a lecture about Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta and he especially gave a strong preference to the distribution of books. I thought that was very significant, because we were situated on the island of Māyāpura across from Navadvīpa with the Ganges on one side, the Jalaṅgī on the other side, and everyone was taking bath three times a day, there was prasādam distribution, kīrtana and all these things were going on, but in 1976 in India at the time, there was no book distribution even there in the heart of Māyāpura. Yet still he was especially making a point about the importance of book distribution. I was very much impressed.
Meanwhile, news had reached Brahmānanda Swami in Nairobi that Mahārāja and Ṛkṣarāja had not only gone to India without his permission, but had also collected a $12,000 donation and given it directly to Śrīla Prabhupāda. Brahmānanda was furious. He had specifically sent Mahārāja, his best collector, to Yemen and Dubai to help him get out of debt. Now, he had lost his top collector and was still deep in debt!
Narasiṅgha Mahārāja: Brahmānanda thought I was coming back with the money, but we jumped ship. When Vallabh offered to buy our tickets, I was like, “I ain’t going back to Nairobi,” and Ṛkṣarāja had already been to India and he’d been in Nairobi also, so he was like, “I’m convinced. I ain’t going back there either.” So, we did the unthinkable – we walked out. Not only did we walk out, we walked out with the money and gave it directly to Śrīla Prabhupāda, and Prabhupāda said, “No, you can’t use it to pay off Brahmānanda’s debt.” The whole thing of us leaving Nairobi and going out to collect meant zero for Brahmānanda. Things were so bad financially in Kenya that year that he couldn’t come to India, but that didn’t stop him from trying to create havoc for me.
A few days after his darśana with Śrīla Prabhupāda, Mahārāja was still ‘walking on air’ when Dayānanda approached him one morning. “Prabhu, did you hear the latest?”
Mahārāja shrugged. “I don’t know. What happened?”
“Well, Brahmānanda has written to Śrīla Prabhupāda – he’s withdrawing his recommendation for your sannyāsa initiation.”
Now, Mahārāja no longer felt that he was ‘walking on air.’ But the bad news wasn’t over yet.
“Not only that,” Dayānanda continued, “Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa Swami has also withdrawn his recommendation!”
This was a double blow and a surprise to Mahārāja. He could understand why Brahmānanda would be upset, but what had inspired Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa to withdraw his support? Knowing how intimidating Brahmānanda could be, Mahārāja concluded that Brahmānanda had made some politics and pressured Puṣṭa Kṛṣṇa into withdrawing his recommendation. Then, Mahārāja recalled what he had told Ṛkṣarāja a few days earlier – “Prabhu, who cares about taking sannyāsa or not taking sannyāsa? We’re serving Śrīla Prabhupāda – that’s the main thing!”
Suddenly, Mahārāja felt as if a dense cloud had lifted. “Yes,” he thought. “That is the main thing!” Smiling, he told Dayānanda, “Well, let’s see, Prabhu. Ultimately, everything is in Kṛṣṇa’s hands…”
