My lack of good qualities prohibits me (08/24/15)Become a preacher of Bhagavad-gītā (10/05/15)Grievances (10/01/15)
What follows is a summary of grievances, how I have become deeply dissatisfied with the activities, preaching, life style and general performance of _____ as a sannyasi in the mission. I do not have the time or energy in me to go into each and every detail, but here is what stands out the most.
I begin with mentioning that ______ refusal to participate in the yearly Vyāsa-pūjā offering for the past 4 years has left a bad feeling in my heart. It has long been _____’s habit to criticize me over and over again for my handling of money and other such activities like purchasing cameras and such equipment for the devotees, etc. Although his criticisms have been a source of great disturbance to several of his godbrothers, the criticisms were only brought to my attention months, even years after the incidents occurred.
Of course, because I am an ocean of faults it is easy to criticize me. One doesn’t need much intelligence to do that. But one thing that I am that _______ seems to have failed to observe and that is, I am the obedient servant of my spiritual master, Śrīla Prabhupāda. I have never caused his Divine Grace any heart felt pain or disturbance, nor have I ever criticized my gurus, nor have I obstinately disobeyed their instruction. But unfortunately ______ has not followed in my footsteps and is somehow in the illusion that he is special and that he has earned the right to criticize me.
_____ says he wants harmony among devotees, yet his actions and speech show something quite the opposite, especially when it comes to other sannyāsīs in the mission. _______ speaks in such a way as to belittled their status as my representative and even going so far as to propagate malicious thoughts about certain sannyāsīs in the minds of junior devotees. This I find completely intolerable and grounds enough to dismiss ______ from the mission.
To make a long story short, I am much aggrieved by and dissatisfied with ______. Therefore, I do not want _____ to come to see me until he has learned to follow my simple instruction. In the meantime I do not want ______ preaching to my disciples or the followers of our mission.
At this crossroads I leave ______ with two choices; To prove himself as a sannyāsī by following each and every instruction of mine, or to put on white and do his own program independently from the mission.
The tridaṇḍa of the Vaiṣṇava sannyāsī stands for complete surrender to the order of guru and Kṛṣṇa with body, mind, words and soul. Without such surrender there is no meaning to being a sannyāsī. If one is not going to follow sannyāsa properly, it is better to retire and accept a more conducive position according to one’s ability and mental aptitude. Saffron dress, either brahmacārī or sannyāsī, is for those who are fully surrendered souls. White dress is for everyone else.
There are 7 billion people on the planet to preach to, but unfortunately my remaining years of life are limited and therefore I do not have time to waste with obstinate disciples, egotistical disciples or disciples who refuse to follow my instructions, regardless of who they think they are.
In my last 10 hour conversation with ______ in ______ last year, and I gave some important simple instructions, the most important of which was not to neglect this year’s Vyāsa-pūjā. _____ flipped off that instruction like stool and now I have run out of tolerance for his obstinacy and his activities unbefitting a sannyāsī.
______ has embarked on an array of self-concocted service, not service I have given him. He invent something and then begs the question to get it authorized. He also has failed to understand that all the wealth and property of a sannyāsī or brahmacārī belongs to the spiritual master. I am referring here to the ______ project which morally belonged to Śrī Śrī Rādhikā-Mādhavasundara, not to ______ or anyone else. Unfortunately, ______ thinks he is the owner of such mission projects and thus has the God-given right to spend the money as he sees fit with absolutely no oversight from myself or anyone else.
