I Hope You Can Hear Me as Your Affectionate Spiritual Father (09/03/12)
Dear ______ Dāsī,
I’ll give my advice here, but first let me say that I would definitely like to see you return to ______ and continue your service. And from what i have heard from ______ he feels the same way. We both share affection for you as someone who is dear to our mission. So definitely you should return to Mexico and continue your service.
Now my advice:
1] First off stop feeling that you have something to offer. That is starting out on the wrong foot. The feeling should be that, “I am here to learn, to serve and whatever my Guardians see in my worthless, useless self that can be used in Kṛṣṇa’s service — then I am happy and blessed to be able to offer that.”
2] A person of your age, having been living independently for so many years, will find it next to impossible to live in an āśrama environment. You are better suited for being in your own space but being part of the community (like in your own apartment, with your own finances, etc).
3] _____ is the kind of a guy. and especially at this stage of his spiritual life, that he seeks a relationship with someone who is basically doing the same thing, namely serving guru and Kṛṣṇa without another care in the world. I saw back in ______ that you were going to blow it with him. Men in this world are only of two types… one that seeks a relationship with a woman that is affectionate, but like dear friends and comrades. The other type seeks a relationship that is held together thru sex. _____ is the first type of man. Frankly, from what I have seen in life, most so-called relationships are held together with sex and mutual exploitation. The first type of guy comes along rarely or never at all. He is also the type of guy who runs from tears, hates crying, shuns moodiness and abhors being dragged into the anxiety and the sufferings of your past relationship with _____. I saw all these things starting to happen once you had captured ______. You stopped being the woman that attracted him and you started being someone else. It was a matter of time.
4] Going back to _______ for service and association is a great idea as far as I am concerned, but going there with the idea that you might patch things up with _____ is not a good idea. If you can go there for service and spiritual advancement then don’t delay.
I have affection and concern for your well being and so I hope you can hear me as your affectionate spiritual father and not allow the mundane to interfere.
Always happy to hear from you.
Su Padre Espiritual,