My Disciples are More Advanced Than I Am! (02/20/11)
I read your 2 emails below. I was very much looking forward to preaching in Czech thinking that you were in harmony with _____ Maharaja, ______ Maharaja and the devotees from Govindajī Gardens, but now I am thinking that it is maybe not good for me to come to Czech. Maybe in future, but not now.
I am very sad to read:
I have to admit, that I have been somehow pained by your mail indicating me for “holy place tourist” and I heard the same point of “eye exercise” from _____ Maharaj several times as well…
The other thing that really bothers me is, that at times I was dealt with and considered as neophyte or even worse – “contaminated and confused Iskcon man” – by the devotees of your maṭha. And I felt traces of the same spirit also in your two last emails.
Generally the disciples are neophyte, but in my case it is different. My disciples are more advanced than I am, because none of them have ever been offenders to the pure devotees and have served the lotus feet of Śrīla Prabhupāda, Śrīdhara Mahārāja and Purī Mahārāja from the very beginning of their devotional lives. So if you did not have a harmonious relationship with my disciples then there is no meaning of accepting me as guru – at least not in the true sense of accepting guru and rendering service with affectionate zeal. Because service means serving in harmony with your godbrothers and godsisters. I am a firm believer in the saying, “love me, love my dog”!
I live for my disciples and everything I do is for them. They live for me and everything they do is for me. We are bound together by our mutual love and affection for each other. We do not care for any society or organisation unless real love and affection is found there. This bond is also shared among the disciples as they have affection and respect for each other. This is very rare to find in a confused world of modern Vaiṣṇavism and in no way do I want to disturb our harmony.
I could say more and try to correct your way of approaching the saṅga of pure devotion, but if my previous emails have ‘pained’ you then for me to say anything more on this subject would probably devastate you completely.
If you want to speak with ____ Mahārāja or ____ Mahārāja about this, or come to see me in India in future for association and long talks then that might be possible. But I am not enthused about going point for point about these matters in emails.
As I said above, your email was sad to read and thus I have instructed ____ Mahārāja to cancel my plans for Czech. I cannot go to where I am subject to critical observation. You will surely see so many faults in me. I also see no value in expanding the numbers of neophyte devotees. First you should understand what pure devotion is by being in our association for some extended time and then we can preach. Otherwise it is just a waste of your time and mine.
Until such matters are completely resolved to my satisfaction, it is not good for you to stay in our rooms at Rādhā-Dāmodara. The rooms there were built by those who you have found disharmony with. Also, the situation there is very sensitive. It is not easy to understand the position of vrajavāsī-gosvāmīs. Only devotees who are 101% dedicated to following my instruction and who are in harmony with our devotees are allowed to stay at Rādhā-Dāmodara temple.
Sorry to bring you this news. I wish you safe travels and that Kṛṣṇa may guide you within your heart on what course you should take.