The Problem is You Don’t Accept Me as Guru (03/30/10)
I really wish you could get beyond the things you feel and think you see and join the collective endeavor. Ultimately it is Kṛṣṇa that we want to go forward and our gurus. If our guru takes credit for everything and anything we have done, then we are happy with that. That is the way that I always served Prabhupāda, Śrīdhara Mahārāja and Purī Mahārāja. I even wrote chapters in Ballabh Tīrtha Mahārāja’s book about the associates of Lord Caitanya, but I did not take credit for that. The credit went to Ballabh Tīrtha Mahārāja and it helped make his preaching more successful and acceptable in the west. I wrote the chapter on Śrīdhara Mahārāja and half the chapter on Prabhupāda in his book, but he got the credit. I was happy with the chance to do the service.
So even from a spiritual point of view, you should not be eager for credit even if you deserve it.
I think the real problem is that you really don’t accept me as guru and you never have. Otherwise I don’t see how you could make such an issue of these little things even if they were true, and they are NOT.
In Vṛndāvana, I thought we put all this in the past, but it seems that you cannot do so. But I cannot go forward in our relationship if this continues. If the devotees agree that I am wrong then I am prepared to bow down on bended knee, but if I am not wrong then I really wish you could just get your mind off these petty things and focus on what our mission is trying to achieve. There is a ton of work and service to be done. We don’t have time for this petty māyā.
I am sorry if I sound short but really, you are blowing my mind with this stuff. You are acting like a kid. So please lets get it together before its too late.