What is the Point of Being in My Mission? (08/20/08)
In my other email to you written earlier this morning (a few hours ago) I wanted to look on the bright side of the situation, but unfortunately other issues have been drawn to my attention that are quite disturbing. These other issues were brought to my attention this morning and I am quite disturbed by them. Thus my mood regarding our relationship and your position in our mission has changed for the worse. Although I wrote the previous email with complete openness of heart, the issues that were then placed before me changes everything!
The first thing is that as I have heard that you expressed yourself clearly to B____ that you felt that I should not have rebuilt the samādhi of Śrī Rūpa Gosvāmī, that I was wrong to have done so, and that I was wrong not to have taken the help of B_____ Dāsa from Iskcon. You are entitled to that opinion (if indeed that is your opinion), but it is not possible to have such an opinion and remain in my mission. Nor should you want to be in my mission if that is your opinion. If what you say is true then that would make me a mega-offender to the leader of our sampradāya and all his empowered representatives — why would you want to live with and eat the prasādam (food) from such an offenders hand?!
Secondly, it seems that regardless of what I have told you in confidence about V______i Mahārāja, you reject my understanding that he is not a disciple of Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta. Again, you can have whatever opinion you wish to have on that matter. It is not actually important to me who’s disciple he is, but one thing we know for sure and that is that he has been inimical toward Śrīla Śrīdhara Mahārāja for most of his adult life. So even if he were the disciple of Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta, we would not want to have anything to do with him anymore than we want to have something to do with N____ Mahārāja. So what is the point of being in my mission if indeed you have such thinking?
These two abovementioned differences between us are, in my opinion, deeper than you may realize and they are certainly significant to me – so much so that considering the above, I have no further inclination to extend a helping had to you (financial or otherwise). As Śrīla Prabhupāda once told a godbrother, “You don’t like my mission (service, disciples, ideas, preaching etc.) but you approach me for financial help.” This is not acceptable.
You are now staying at _______ (staying in P______ Mahārāja’s facilities and honoring his prasādam) and so I suggest that you discard my earlier email sent to you this morning and contact P_____ Mahārāja and discuss seriously how you might be better suited for his mission. At least on the issue of V_____ Mahārāja you might share similar opinions. You seem to have a lovable nature similar to that of P______ Mahārāja which makes it difficult for you to accept the cutting style (discrimination) of my preaching. That is understandable, but not acceptable to be in my mission or to continue to ask me for financial help.
I hope Your Holiness understands my position and the above clearly.
Hoping this meets you well.
A godbrother and friend,
Swami BG Narasingha