You are Not Suited for Āśrama Life (04/11/13)
You are a devotee of 20 years and second initiated. Therefore, you are supposed to be a leading example for the newer devotees in all matters. But instead the last year has been a very poor example in almost every situation (mood swings, crying, anger, non-acceptance of authority, non-Kṛṣṇa activities like dancing outside clubs, etc).
I think basically here what I am saying is that you are nice person and a sincere devotee, but you are not suited for āśrama and communal living. Many people are not. That does not mean they are not devotees, but it does mean that they cannot live in an āśrama or in a communal situation wherein their example is expected to be first class. This I think applies to your situation.