You May Not Have Chosen Wisely (01/17/11)
I am happy to see that you are desiring to move forward by formally accepting a guru. I know this does not come easily for you. However, you may not have chosen wisely. It is not very easy to be a disciple of ‘Narasiṅgha Mahārāja’. It is good that you want to move forward, but you should let your decision settle for sometime, think it over deeply, and see if that is where your heart really lies.
If that be the case, then it is still necessary to be an ‘aspiring disciple’ for some years. Initiations are rarely held in our mission and even then, only after the guru and disciple really get to know each other over time. The fact is that we have never even met or spent time together in the āśrama other than an exchange of emails.
I guess one can even fall in love on the internet, but as concerns guru and disciple, personal meeting and association is really necessary. When one accepts guru he also accepts the guru’s other disciples as his own family. So it is important to know them also.
I think you should discuss this matter with devotees like _____ and others and find out if your decision is deeply rooted in a desire to serve Kṛṣṇa and Vaiṣṇava, or brought on by something else.
Don’t be discouraged, be bold. Just search your heart for the truth and don’t be afraid when you find it.
Hoping this finds you well.