Sad and Shameful (09/04/05)
Dear N___ Dāsa
I have received and read your email below and I am indeed sorry to hear that you are having to bear so many disappointments in your relation with guru.
I would advise you to seek serious shelter under the śikṣā of someone whom you have faith in as a bona-fide representative of Kṛṣṇa. You and others have obviously made mistakes before, so you should be very serious and thorough in your search for the truth. Your degree of seriousness (sincerity) will ultimately be your saving grace.
The more you can read the books of Śrīla Śrīdhara Deva Gosvāmī such as Śrī Guru and His Grace, Search for Śrī Kṛṣṇa-Reality the Beautiful, the Golden Volcano of Divine Love and other such wonderful books then I am absolutely certain that you will find divine guidance to help you in your spiritual life.
It is also indeed unfortunate that X____ Mahārāja has misguided so many devotees and made a mockery of pure devotional service as it has been passed down in the paramparā of Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta. In the end the truth will prevail but in the meantime many devotees are going to be put into suffering and even lose faith in Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
You may be aware that R____ Mahārāja and B___ Mahārāja have both rejected their connection with X____ Mahārāja. That A____ Mahārāja has also rejected his connection with X____ Mahārāja and is getting himself married to a Russian girl in the USA. Many other devotees at this time are finally waking up to the fact that the X_____ Mahārāja’s campaign is not in the proper line of Gauḍīya conception. Unfortunately many of these devotees have also made offences to other senior Vaiṣṇavas and they are at present having to bear that reaction. All the events surrounding X_____ Mahārāja have indeed turned out to be very inauspicious. How sad it is. It is actually shameful.
Yes, there are details about the offences of X_____ Mahārāja to Śrīla Śrīdhara Mahārāja, but without knowing you personally I am not at liberty to disclose those things in an email. It is also a long story with many fine points of understanding. If we ever meet in person I might share some of that information with you. You have already got inspiration from Kṛṣṇa to reject X_____ Mahārāja and are appreciating the words of Śrīla Śrīdhara Mahārāja, so now just be sincere and follow your heart. Kṛṣṇa will continue to help you.
I have atached the article that was my response to the response of the X_____ Mahārāja on the Ratha-yātrā issue.
Within a couple of weeks we will have Prākṛta-rasa Āraṇya Chedinī available to download on our website. We are very busy at present completing the new book of Śrīla Śrīdhara Mahārāja called “Encounters With Divinity”. After that we will put Prākṛta-rasa Āraṇya Chedinī online.
I hope I have been of some help to you in your sorrowful situation.
Swami B.G. Narasingha